Ex Green Party Minister Golriz Ghrabit-Man Launches Side Hustle Stealing Clothes, Confident in Just Another Slap on the Wrist
- 01 Jul, 2024
Ex Green Party Minister Golriz Ghrabit-Man(Hereafter GG) has started a new side hustle common in thrid world countries: stealing clothes. Emboldened by her latest “slap on the wrist” experience, GG has decided to turn her light-fingered tendencies into a profitable venture.
“Well, I have friends in high places,” she casually remarked at a recent press conference. “Plus, I’ve got a few cards up my sleeve: my brown skin, Palestine, mental health…if I really need to I can always bring Ukraine or climate change if things get sticky.”
The minister’s new business model is shockingly simple. She “shops” at high-end boutiques without ever visiting the cashier and then sells her ill-gotten goods on Facebook Marketplace. “It’s actually profitable,” she boasted. “I just pay court costs and keep the merchandise. The profits are great, my last paycheck was about $7000 after court costs and I got out of a 7 year prison sentence.”
When asked about the ethical implications of her side hustle, GG was nonchalant. “Look, I’m a politician. People expect a little bit of scandal, right? Besides, it’s for a good cause. I’m raising awareness about the racial bias in our justice system.”
GG’s attorney, who preferred to remain anonymous, commented, “It’s an interesting legal strategy, to say the least. We’re currently working on a plea deal where GG will give a public apology and a lecture on sustainable fashion theft.”
Look, I’m a politician. People expect a little bit of scandal, right?
Critics are divided on GG’s entrepreneurial spirit. Some say she’s a symptom of a broken system, while others admire her audacity. “You’ve got to give her credit for creativity,” said one local resident. “I mean, who else could turn a criminal habit into a side hustle while holding public office? Only a Greens minister.”
Meanwhile, GG’s colleagues in the Green Party have remained conspicuously silent, with a few muttering about the need for a more sustainable approach to kleptocracy.
Despite the controversy, GG remains unfazed and has even hinted at expanding her operation. “I’m thinking of branching out into shoes next. After all, every great outfit needs a pair of matching shoes, and there’s a lot of profit potential there!”
Source: NZ Herald
