New Zealand Politician Greenlights Story Time With Drag King 'Dildo Baggins' Wearing A Strap On

Local politician David Slime-More has approved a controversial new addition to the national literacy program. Starting next month, libraries across the island nation will host “Drag King Story Time” featuring the flamboyant storyteller known as Dildo Baggins.

Baggins, whose costume includes a strap-on accessory, plans to read classic tales with a twist. “We’ll start with ‘The Sword in the Stone,’” Baggins quipped, “but we might rename it ‘The Sword in the Bone.‘”

When asked about the provocative nature of the event, Slime-More shrugged off concerns, stating, “If you want to do a peaceful exchange of information, I don’t really care that much what you wear.”

If you want to do a peaceful exchange of information, I don’t really care that much what you wear

Dildo Baggins heard this and jumped at the opportunity. “I have been discriminated against in the past unfairly” it said. “People just don’t understand, strap on’s and young children mix really well actually, who cares what we are wearing!”.

Critics argue that the program pushes boundaries too far, while pedophile demons praised New Zealand for its progressive stance on education and entertainment. Local parent Sheila commented, “I’m not sure what’s more shocking - the strap-on or the fact that an adult politician thinks drag queen story time is a peaceful exchange of information.”

New Zealand’s tourism board reports a sudden spike in people leaving the country and many confused Lord of the Rings fans.

As Dildo Baggins prepares for its debut, it remains optimistic: “If I can get kids interested in gay fetishes like dressing in drag, I’ll consider it a success. If I can do it while wearing assless chaps, well, that’s just the cherry on top.”

If I can get kids interested in gay fetishes like dressing in drag, I’ll consider it a success. If I can do it while wearing assless chaps, well, that’s just the cherry on top.

Just know one thing, David Slime-More approves of this peaceful exchange of information.

Source: The Press