Parents Relieved That Drag King Willy Smack-ur-Tot’s Performance Will Be Fully Clothed and Age Appropriate

Birthing people across town are breathing a collective sigh of relief upon learning that Drag King Willy Smack-ur-Tot’s upcoming performance will be fully clothed and strictly age appropriate.

“We were so worried,” said Karen, clutching her pearls for added dramatic effect. “I mean, with a name like Willy Smack-ur-Tots, you just never know what you’re going to get. Dressing in drag has nothing to do with late night sex bars, homosexual cross dressing fetishes or weirdo pedophiles trying to get access to our children, but I had to double check.”

Willy Smack-ur-Tots, has assured parents that his show will feature nothing more risqué than a a renactment of The Lord of The Rings featuing Dildo Baggins and if the crowd is lucky, a tasteful dad joke or two.

“I’m not sure where people got the idea that I’d be doing anything inappropriate,” said WILLY SMACK-UR-TOTS, adjusting his oversized top hat and Balenciaga teddy bear. “I mean, just because my name has a certain… zing to it, doesn’t mean I’m out here to corrupt the youth.”

“I’m not sure where people got the idea that I’d be doing anything inappropriate,” said Willy Smack-ur-Tots, adjusting his oversized top hat and Balenciaga teddy bear.

The relief was palpable at the local PTA meeting. “When we heard ‘drag king,’ we immediately thought of those weird gay bars for adults. Imagine our surprise when we found out it was just a dude wearing makeup and a dress with no underwear on in front of a bunch on young kids” exclaimed Betty Fretalot, wiping sweat from her brow.

Rumors had swirled that Smack-ur-Tots’s act might involve glitter explosions and spontaneous dance-offs, but the performer has confirmed that his show will be nothing but good, clean fun. “Think less reading innocent stories with decent values and morals, more whacky neo-marxist pedophilia infused theories created to dismantle and destroy your society” he added with a wink.

In a world where drag queens often steal the spotlight, it’s refreshing to see a drag king making waves, especially one as charmingly named as Willy Smack-ur-Tots. And while his name might suggest a penchant for cheekiness, his commitment to keeping it kid-friendly is winning over parents one news media propaganda post at a time.

So, mark your calendars, folks. Come one, come all to see Willy Smack-ur-Tots in what promises to be the most wholesomely entertaining, fully-clothed, NOT CREEPY performance of the season. And remember, leave your worries — and your soul — at the door.

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Source: NZ Herald