Queer Male Anus slurs, Pedophile symbols and Minors? It’s Fine With Context’ Chloe Swarbrick Explains to Baffled Nation
- 31 Mar, 2025
In a press conference that left the nation scratching its head and frantically Googling “Is this allowed?”, Green Party MP Chloe Swarbrick took to the podium yesterday to defend what she calls “the most misunderstood male anus slur of the decade”.
“Look, it’s not what you think,” Swarbrick began, with the calm confidence of someone who’s about to drop a PowerPoint slide titled ‘Why This Isn’t Insane’. “We’re not saying anyone can just post whatever they want about male anuses or using well known child sexual abuse symbols in their bio as a member of parliament. There’s a rigorous context clause. You’ve got to have a vibe check - and be a Greens MP”.
The press conference came about after Green Party MP Doyle, was caught red-handed posting a string of bizarre, instagram posts with provocative language and known child sexual abuse symbols - which have since been deleted.
“You’re overreacting,” Swarbrick snapped at baffled journalists. “It’s fine if you squint and believe us.”
Her defense? “Context.” She claims it’s a “deep statement” about something nobody can figure out. “You just don’t get it,” she told a cop, who was busy reading her rights. “This is free expression. You’re the weird one for not seeing it.”
